People forget that the most important part of social networking is… well… being social and networking.  How is it that someone who doesn’t interact with me – either online or off- finds it permissible to post information on my Facebook wall.  They will often promote their upcoming book release, event, or new business venture?  They have never, ever engaged with me on one single topic… ever. Yet, they have no problem asking to me like their Facebook page, support their contest or vote for their business. It’s like walking into a party, (barely) introducing yourself, then telling having that person ask you to tell everyone else in the room why their business is so great. Who would do that?

How can it be that someone who didn’t bother to take the time to ever send me so much as one single tweet, feels comfortable sending me a DM to Tweet something for them?  Well, I won’t do it.  If you do not socialize with me; I will not support your cause, event or business.  I will promptly delete your post and may potentially block you from accessing my sites all together.  Don’t tag me in the photos that I’m not actually in.  Don’t post your fliers and website information to my wall.  Oh, and PLEASE stop asking me to Tweet details about your event as part of your marketing strategy.  But instead of just fussing about what doesn’t work, let me give you an example of what does.

For over a decade, I was a part-time aerobic instructor.  For a time, I was even a personal trainer. Seven years ago I decided I didn’t want to teach anymore.  I just wanted to do my day job and not worry about coming up with new routines.  As a result… you guesed it… the pounds have started to creep on.  My muscle mass has began to decrease at an alarming rate and I’ve lost quite a bit of bone density.  I am an avid biker – clocking at least 25 miles a week – so my heart is healthy but my body is weak.  So, I’ve recommitted myself to getting back into shape.  I’ve been working out and using my favorite fitness apps to share my progression on Facebook and Twitter.

For the past month, a Facebook friend has been commenting on my posts, encouraging me and providing me with inspiration.  As a result, I started watching his Facebook posts more closely.  Come to find out… my Facebook friend, Orlando Darden Jr, is a personal trainer, has a Facebook group page and runs a FREE Bootcamp just blocks from my house.  He never once, in all this time, posted one single thing about his business or occupation.  He never tweeted me anything about what he does (he Tweets as @BodyFitDC).  But, because he’s been social… being generally supportive and interested in my progress.. engaging with me online… I found out what he does on my own.  Once I discovered he was a trainer, I joined his Bootcamp via Meetup and of course I will naturally be tweeting, blogging and doing Facebook posts about my progress and his personal training skills.  He gets free marketing and promotion… organically… without having to ask.

Remember, it’s called social networking… so go ahead… start being social… start to care about the people you interact with online.  Otherwise, at least in my case, I’m deleting your post from my wall – quick, fast, and in a hurry- and won’t be tweeting anything on your behalf.  Oh, and in an ironic twist, I will post this blog on your wall or send it to you in a Tweet as an FYI and as free promotion for my blog.  Hey, fair is fair.  I’ll “see” you online!


  1. This so captured how I have often felt. We have a mutual past colleague who always does this to me (and to my page). After posting all over my page, the person then opens a chat with me whenever I am on FB and asks me to check out their new whatever by going to another site. I find it really annoying and didn’t want to be rude since I do actually know them, but this person doesn’t support or socialize with me other than to promote themselves and hasn’t in centuries! I have another former classmate who sends links through chat windows, whom I was feeling badly about because I did block his ability to chat. Your very insightful post has freed me! I know I am not being mean now and that this is indeed inappropriate. Thank you for saying it out loud!P.S. I think you are so on point about what happened with your trainer friend! I know that you will retweet, post and support him however you can simply out of his genuine interest in your quest. Right on!

  2. I love this and of course have to post it on my FB page since I am constantly deleting posts from people I don’t know, don’t associate with, have never spoken to, and am not in the same industry as….. Thanks for posting this!

  3. I feel you on this, although I don’t get a lot of random request, but those games on my wall get on my nerves lol. I’m also on the path of getting my strength back up. My cardio is good, but I got to work on my muscle mass.

  4. Now ya TALKIN’, Danielle! THAT’S the way to do it! I’ve learned the hard way what you write about in this particular post – and that is this: There are those who would drain the marrow out of you whether online or offline and not give one second thought about EVER contributing anything back to you…. indeed, they almost NEVER contribute back and take umbrage if you ever even mention the matter… I say KUDOS to you and give you a +1 on the deletion! Keep STRONG, Danielle!

  5. Yes Danielle! So true! I have noticed that as my audience grows due to my TV show and health talks, I frequently get what I call "the one offs" where people try to link to me. Sometimes I like what they have to say, which is fine, but mostly I get annoyed that they pollute my page! Frustrating indeed.

  6. Many thanks to you all. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my frustration on people not understanding proper social media/networking Etiquette.Aaron, what’s the link to your blog? I’d love to read it!

  7. This is GREAT!!!! It’s ironic that I just blogged a Facebook Etiquette Course and a friend sent me here to read this. I LOVE IT. Thank you for sharing this Danielle. It teaches a RESPONSIBLE way to effectively use social media to network. Kudos to you dear!

  8. Danielle, I so agree with you!! Hurrah for posting this! I found your post, because the same person spammed my Facebook page with some promotional comment! And like you, I promptly deleted the post and unfriended the person — even though the subject interested me! I won’t name any names, because I’m sure this person doesn’t know any better. Anyhow, good luck on getting back in shape! (I just came back from a rigorous bike ride — doing bursting, etc., too.) What are these favorite fitness apps? Eager to hear.

  9. Great post Danielle… I agree with you, Social networking is about being SOCIAL… why do people miss that important fact? I have also actually seen some rude behavior by people on some social media sites… be nice people, we are all in this together!Thanks for the info.

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